Because of drug cartels in Mexico gaining control of black market weapons, civilian lives are lost and unrest dominates around Mexico. Drug cartels armed with these illegal weapons are tremendous problem; cities have become corrupted by the gangs and innocent life has become rare. These cities were transformed from thriving communities to major drug fronts. The U.S.’s latest attempt to bring these cartels to justice has failed and now congress has intervened and is now investigating the failed operation.
good thesis statment, be sure not to give away to much information and also watch your wording cause in some places i bacme confused. But over all good thesis!
This is a good topic and it seems like it will end up being very interesting. I think you offer a little more information towards the end that you might not need.
Alex Castine Thesis Statement Because of the trade of Weapons of Mass Destruction (WMD’s) our world is being threatened by various countries in Eastern civilizations. These threats that we (the U.S.) are receiving along with many other countries around the world, include extermination all existence of human life on the planet earth.
Alex thank you for taking my begining but you did do a good job of stating the topic but what do you want to do to stop this wmd threat. Has the US done anything to prevent this
I think that this is a good topic and you did well presenting it. I would agree though that you need something else like the solutions that countries are trying.
The debt crisis in Europe is an important modern issue that needs to be responded to properly. The debt crisis in Europe has different causes for each individual country. The problems caused by it will affect other countries around the world that trade with Europe and Europe. Many countries are trying to develop solutions in Europe, but some of their solutions are not that successful. This is a very important issue for the world because it is not just bad for Europe.
Guns have always been an issue in the US. “The Right To Bear Arms”, was created for protection and hunting in colonial times. These days, guns have become more dangerous, abundant, and carried. The issue was really noticed during the Tuscon Arizona shooting on January 8th, 2011.
Nick, I like how you gave us some background information on the "Right to Bear Arms". This gives the reader a clear idea about the transition to what your issue began as, and what it is now. This sounds like a really intersting topic and a good thesis!
In Bangladesh, Women's rights are neglected a significant amount, and it has gotten to a point where Bangladeshi women run the risk of loosing their lives. Some ways that their rights are neglected include, maternal health, home life, sexual abuse, and even in political issues.
Your topic is very interesting. I can't wait to hear more about it, but it is kind of short. Maybe add one sentence at the end that states your main point.
The earthquake in Japan was a devastating natural disaster that triggered a radioactive leak and a huge tsunami. This caused the destruction of many homes and buildings, death, and serious environmental damage. Japan has also been known to recover very well, but this will be a true test for their recovery programs.
The tension between North and South Korea has evolved in significant ways since Korea was divided into two countries after WWII. What was once a calm, peaceful country has been dominated by fighting and unrest. Efforts to unify the counties have had mixed effects; some have brought additional conflict, others have strengthed their relationship.
Your thesis it written very well. I know that North and South Korea have caused global issues because we saw it on "Student News" in Ms. Andremann's class. It is a great topic to write about.
The care for the disabled in Mexico is scary. Some of the conditions in the institutions are just plain disgusting. Most institutions have staff taking poor care of the patients, and the facility itself. The patients are abused and neglected, and the facility is unclean and unhygienic. This is important because without the proper care they need, they don’t grow properly physically, and mentally.
I think that the basic idea of your thesis is good, but I think that you could possibly condese your description of the care and institutions. I also think that your vocabulary could be improved.
The Catholic Sex Abuse Scandal in Ireland has been going on since the 1990s and needs to be stopped very soon. Priests have been sexually abusing innocent children who come to them for help. To make it worse, other priests including the Vatican know about it and didn’t tell the police. We need to stop this problem now before it spreads off anywhere else and for the well being of the children in Ireland.
Ms.Rainbow you do a good job of stating the problem and what we need to do to stop this. This is definitly a problem in Ireland but also not just there but everywhere else in the world.
I think your thesis is entreging and I want to find out more about it. I think you should add a bit to your thesis just so that people can get a better grip on what's coming up. Anyway, it was a good first thesis, goodjob!
Melissa, this sounds like a really interesting topic and I want to read more. It would be good if you added more about what the real problem is and what you think about it.
Everyday, Children in Africa are kidnapped and force to serve in military services. The laws against children in the service are ignored in Africa, making children faced with terrifying, death threatening experiences each day. The experiences of being a child soldier affects children for the rest of their lives.
Caroline, this sounds really interesting and actually has a good amount of information. Maybe you could add some input on how you feel about this. I know that I have wondered how it would be for the children and for their families if they were sent off to war. Good job!
This sounds like an interesting topic. I think I've heard about it before. You could try adding how it may affect the other people around them. Your paper sounds like it will be interesting though.
A growing threat to West Africa is the dangerous terrorist group known as Al-Qaeda. They have expanded and formed a sub group known as Al-Qaeda in the Islamic Maghreb (AQIM). They are committing acts of terror such as kidnapping people and attempting to kill people through unorthodox manners. This is affecting the economy and daily life of the West African civilian.
Good first thesis Terri! I think it is detailed in the way that it is supposed to be, but are you gonna talk about how overpopulation causes people to become poor in parts of the world? If so, this answers it, so far.
I think this is a great start Terri. You have the perfect amount of detail and it looks like you have just enough information for a thesis. You might want to say where in the world specificly you are talking about being overpopulated.
Due to the high intrest in boys in China, the one child policy id decreasing the female population dramatically. With the lack of females, China is starting to take a major hit in theh areas of social interaction and economics.
Good choice in your topic. It seems like it is going to be a very interesting paper. Make sure you correct "id" in your first sentence to "is". Other than that, your thesis is written very well.
Erike, this is a great start to your thesis. I think you should give a little more information about what the one child policy is, to give the reader some background information. Also, make sure you correct "theh" in your last sentence to "the".
This thesis explains the problem well. You might want to change the "id" to "is". Other than that, your paper sounds like it's going to turn out very interesting.
Child labor in Uzbekistan is dangerous and can take lives from children and young adults.
ReplyDeleteksparkles77
Good thesis statment ksparkles77. You might want to put another sentence or add on to that sentence to make it more detailed and easier to interpret.
DeleteGO KSPARKLES77
This is a very good thesis. I am interested in hearing more about your topic.
DeleteThis is clear and specific,but a little short. IF you lengthen it it will make it much better.
DeleteThesis statement
ReplyDeleteBecause of drug cartels in Mexico gaining control of black market weapons, civilian lives are lost and unrest dominates around Mexico. Drug cartels armed with these illegal weapons are tremendous problem; cities have become corrupted by the gangs and innocent life has become rare. These cities were transformed from thriving communities to major drug fronts. The U.S.’s latest attempt to bring these cartels to justice has failed and now congress has intervened and is now investigating the failed operation.
Sounds like a good statement and you provide enough information for it to be clear.
DeleteDaniel I did not take your beginning. But this is a good thesis statment it is argues your point and states the problem.
DeleteGood Job
DANSPARKLES79
good thesis statment, be sure not to give away to much information and also watch your wording cause in some places i bacme confused. But over all good thesis!
DeleteThis is a good topic and it seems like it will end up being very interesting. I think you offer a little more information towards the end that you might not need.
DeleteAlex Castine
ReplyDeleteThesis Statement
Because of the trade of Weapons of Mass Destruction (WMD’s) our world is being threatened by various countries in Eastern civilizations. These threats that we (the U.S.) are receiving along with many other countries around the world, include extermination all existence of human life on the planet earth.
Alex thank you for taking my begining but you did do a good job of stating the topic but what do you want to do to stop this wmd threat. Has the US done anything to prevent this
Deletealexsparkles78
I think that this is a good topic and you did well presenting it. I would agree though that you need something else like the solutions that countries are trying.
DeleteBrandon Butler
ReplyDeleteThe debt crisis in Europe is an important modern issue that needs to be responded to properly. The debt crisis in Europe has different causes for each individual country. The problems caused by it will affect other countries around the world that trade with Europe and Europe. Many countries are trying to develop solutions in Europe, but some of their solutions are not that successful. This is a very important issue for the world because it is not just bad for Europe.
Brandon, you use very good wording in your thesis. You also typed Europe twice: "Europe and Europe"
DeleteThis is a great thesis, but maybe you could say how it is currently trying to be resolved or what started it.
DeleteGuns have always been an issue in the US. “The Right To Bear Arms”, was created for protection and hunting in colonial times. These days, guns have become more dangerous, abundant, and carried. The issue was really noticed during the Tuscon Arizona shooting on January 8th, 2011.
ReplyDeleteNick, this thesis actually brings me in and makes me want to read more. It would be nice if you added a little more and put in how you feel about it.
DeleteGood thesis, but explain the problem more. Put a little bit more detail.
DeleteNick, I like how you gave us some background information on the "Right to Bear Arms". This gives the reader a clear idea about the transition to what your issue began as, and what it is now. This sounds like a really intersting topic and a good thesis!
DeleteEmily Frazier
ReplyDeleteThesis Statement
In Bangladesh, Women's rights are neglected a significant amount, and it has gotten to a point where Bangladeshi women run the risk of loosing their lives. Some ways that their rights are neglected include, maternal health, home life, sexual abuse, and even in political issues.
Your topic is very interesting. I can't wait to hear more about it, but it is kind of short. Maybe add one sentence at the end that states your main point.
DeleteEmily, this sounds like a very good thesis. Are you going to include ways that women's rights in Bangladesh are trying to be improved?
DeleteThe earthquake in Japan was a devastating natural disaster that triggered a radioactive leak and a huge tsunami. This caused the destruction of many homes and buildings, death, and serious environmental damage. Japan has also been known to recover very well, but this will be a true test for their recovery programs.
ReplyDeleteYour thesis is interesting, in my opinion, and makes me want to read more on the Japan earthquakes and the affects it had on Japan's way of life.
DeleteThis sounds like a very good thesis. Are you going to explain what steps Japan is taking for recovery?
DeleteThe tension between North and South Korea has evolved in significant ways since Korea was divided into two countries after WWII. What was once a calm, peaceful country has been dominated by fighting and unrest. Efforts to unify the counties have had mixed effects; some have brought additional conflict, others have strengthed their relationship.
ReplyDeleteSarah, I like how you compare how it once was and how it is now. Your thesis is very well worded and clear.
DeleteYour thesis it written very well. I know that North and South Korea have caused global issues because we saw it on "Student News" in Ms. Andremann's class. It is a great topic to write about.
DeleteThe care for the disabled in Mexico is scary. Some of the conditions in the institutions are just plain disgusting. Most institutions have staff taking poor care of the patients, and the facility itself. The patients are abused and neglected, and the facility is unclean and unhygienic. This is important because without the proper care they need, they don’t grow properly physically, and mentally.
ReplyDeleteThis sounds good, but I think you can do without the last sentence. So is your paper about neglect of the disabled in Mexico?
DeleteI think that the basic idea of your thesis is good, but I think that you could possibly condese your description of the care and institutions. I also think that your vocabulary could be improved.
DeleteI think you should add some ideas about what you think Mexico could do about this issue.
DeleteThe Catholic Sex Abuse Scandal in Ireland has been going on since the 1990s and needs to be stopped very soon. Priests have been sexually abusing innocent children who come to them for help. To make it worse, other priests including the Vatican know about it and didn’t tell the police. We need to stop this problem now before it spreads off anywhere else and for the well being of the children in Ireland.
ReplyDeleteThis a very good thesis. It has alot of vivid detail and seems to answer your research question. I would love to hear more about your topic.
DeleteMs.Rainbow you do a good job of stating the problem and what we need to do to stop this. This is definitly a problem in Ireland but also not just there but everywhere else in the world.
Deletetaysparkles81
this is a good thesis katie, i didnt know about this problem and i am very excited to heard more!
DeleteThis thesis is well developed. You included good support for your ideas. You're going to have an interesting paper!
DeleteThe ownership of exotic animals causes the animals and humans to suffer.
ReplyDeleteI think your thesis is entreging and I want to find out more about it. I think you should add a bit to your thesis just so that people can get a better grip on what's coming up. Anyway, it was a good first thesis, goodjob!
DeleteMelissa, this sounds like a really interesting topic and I want to read more. It would be good if you added more about what the real problem is and what you think about it.
DeleteEveryday, Children in Africa are kidnapped and force to serve in military services. The laws against children in the service are ignored in Africa, making children faced with terrifying, death threatening experiences each day. The experiences of being a child soldier affects children for the rest of their lives.
ReplyDeleteCaroline, this sounds really interesting and actually has a good amount of information. Maybe you could add some input on how you feel about this. I know that I have wondered how it would be for the children and for their families if they were sent off to war. Good job!
DeleteThis sounds like an interesting topic. I think I've heard about it before. You could try adding how it may affect the other people around them. Your paper sounds like it will be interesting though.
DeleteA growing threat to West Africa is the dangerous terrorist group known as Al-Qaeda. They have expanded and formed a sub group known as Al-Qaeda in the Islamic Maghreb (AQIM). They are committing acts of terror such as kidnapping people and attempting to kill people through unorthodox manners. This is affecting the economy and daily life of the West African civilian.
ReplyDeleteCody this is a great thesis statment. I really like the way you state the issue and arue it. This is a great thesis.
DeleteGood Job,
Codysparkles80
Cody, the way that you incoorporate the effects of the issue in the thesis is really good. Are you going to state your opinion on the issue?
DeleteOverpopulation is a major threat to the future of humanity and is the cause of depleted resources and poverty in some areas of the world.
ReplyDeleteGood first thesis Terri! I think it is detailed in the way that it is supposed to be, but are you gonna talk about how overpopulation causes people to become poor in parts of the world? If so, this answers it, so far.
DeleteI think this is a great start Terri. You have the perfect amount of detail and it looks like you have just enough information for a thesis. You might want to say where in the world specificly you are talking about being overpopulated.
DeleteGood thesis. It starts off the problem well. You might want to make your topic more specific, like where is the most common place this is occuring.
DeleteDue to the high intrest in boys in China, the one child policy id decreasing the female population dramatically. With the lack of females, China is starting to take a major hit in theh areas of social interaction and economics.
ReplyDeleteGood choice in your topic. It seems like it is going to be a very interesting paper. Make sure you correct "id" in your first sentence to "is". Other than that, your thesis is written very well.
DeleteErike, this is a great start to your thesis. I think you should give a little more information about what the one child policy is, to give the reader some background information. Also, make sure you correct "theh" in your last sentence to "the".
DeleteThis thesis explains the problem well. You might want to change the "id" to "is". Other than that, your paper sounds like it's going to turn out very interesting.
Delete